January 25 is the day the lectionary celebrates the Conversion of St. Paul. For our Wednesday Healing Services at Christ Church Easton, I have been using feast days that occur during a given week as a chance to do something along the lines of a homily to recognize them. This is what I put together for this week.
“The Conversion of St. Paul: Embracing Change”
Saul was not an atheist. He wasn’t a morally questionable person. He was a faithful and devoted Jew, who thought he was doing God’s work. And he was a persecutor of Christians. He approved the stoning of St. Stephen, the first Christian martyr in the Book of Acts.
There is no way in the world he was going to be even supportive of this movement, these followers of Jesus.
Until he was. This was not a change-by-degrees situation; this was being struck blind on the road to Damascus and having to come face-to-face with not just the risen Christ, but with the idea that the things you were devoted to, committed to, SURE OF, turned out to be wrong.
This was not an unlikely conversion. It was an impossible conversion. It made no sense. Saul had to come into it and not only that, if you were one of the early followers of Jesus, you knew who Saul was and there was no way you were going to trust him.
From the account in Acts, Saul was blind for three days and didn’t eat or drink for that time.
The Lord called out to a disciple in Damascus named Ananias, and told him where to go to find Saul and lay hands on him so that Saul could regain his sight.
And Ananias said:
“Lord, I have heard from many about this man, how much evil he has done to your saints in Jerusalem, and here he has authority to bind all who invoke your name.”
In other words, “Lord, I don’t think this is such a good idea.”
The Lord said to him, “Go for he is an instrument whom I have chosen to bring my name before gentiles and kings and before the people of Israel. I myself will show him how much he must suffer for the sake of my name.”
Even after his conversion, regaining his sight and becoming an incredibly powerful and persuasive preacher—so much so that now the Jews wanted to kill him; when Saul came to Jerusalem to join the disciples, they were all afraid of him and didn’t believe he had really changed.
Paul’s life got significantly more difficult after his conversion. Many of his letters were written from prison, which he found himself in and out of.
Now in terms of hand-picking apostles, Jesus hit the jackpot with Paul. Paul was Jewish, a pharisee. He was a Roman citizen, he spoke multiple languages, he was literate and educated, and passionate—he was actually the perfect combination of skills, upbringing, and knowledge to take this movement to the next level.
Let’s talk about change. Paul had to completely change his life, to repent, to turn around and go a different direction. And he is well documented in his own words for doing so.
Has your own path of following Jesus asked you to change or make changes in your life? What kind?
Our changes aren’t going to be a severe as Paul’s—I don’t think any of us were persecuting or killing Christians. Changes in our lives might look very different.
I’ll show you what I mean. I make this point a fair amount: over the past eight years, I have cried more than any other period of my life. Following Jesus has opened my heart and caused me to care about more people and more things, to take them into my heart—it’s a much more difficult way to walk through life. But it’s also richer and more rewarding.
Following Jesus with our whole hearts should make us care more about the world and be heartbroken by things we might have ignored before.
Following Jesus asked me to give up a temper that I had been developing over the years.
Following Jesus asked me to let go of judging people and situations. On the Meyers Briggs personality test that people take, I used to test as INFJ—introverted, intuitive, feeling, judging—over the past five years, anytime I have taken the test and been totally honest, I am INFP—judging changed to perceiving.
Change was necessary for Paul and it’s necessary for us. Transformation is a word that is not to be taken lightly.
Another thing we might learn from Paul is the difference between righteousness and self-righteousness. Saul, the pharisee who persecuted Christians was sure he was right. Jesus had a different opinion.
It makes me think of a more modern-day hero of mine. Verna Dozier was an African-American woman who was an English teacher at Dunbar High School. When she retired, became one of the lay (non-ordained) leaders of the Episcopal Church. I keep a copy of her book “The Dream of God” on a shelf near my desk. We did a small group study of that book, and I loved everything about this quote:
“We always see through a glass darkly, and that is what faith is about. I will live by the best I can discern today. Tomorrow I may find out I was wrong. Since I do not live by being right, I am not destroyed by being wrong.”
It is a powerful and humbling thing to live knowing I (or we) don’t and can’t know everything. I do my best to figure things out and have the courage and grace to keep learning and I realize that because something seemed right yesterday, it doesn’t mean it can’t be proved wrong today or tomorrow. If that happens, then I need to be willing to change. Just like Paul did.
So maybe humility becomes important, to realize I am not always right, no matter how passionate I might feel about something. I could have a realization—an epiphany—that I was wrong. Then I need the courage to admit it and think and live differently.
What else can we learn from Paul’s conversion? How about don’t write off your enemies. Saul wasn’t just disliked by the early Christians—he was public enemy number one. They were scared and skeptical of bringing him into the fold.
I apologize for bringing sports analogies into a discussion of such important things, but it’s still football season and we can make a couple points here.
There was a defensive back who played for the Pittsburgh Steelers named Rod Woodson, who is a Hall of Fame player, one of the best to play football at his position. The Steelers and the Baltimore Ravens are big rivals, they don’t like each other on the field very much. Rod Woodson ended up becoming a Raven, helped them win a Super Bowl, and now he is one of their radio broadcast announcers. Loved in both cities, he has dual citizenship.
If you follow the Philadelphia Eagles, running back Saquon Barkley was the franchise player of their division rival New York Giants. Philly fans booed him when the Giants came to town. This year he was traded to the Eagles, has been their best player, the most loved of the Eagles this year and one of the main reasons they are playing this coming weekend for a chance to go to the Super Bowl.
Sports are not life, but the point is, people who were once hated by entire cities and fanbases, become beloved and embraced.
Because someone was your enemy one day, or for a time, doesn’t mean they can’t become an ally, a friend, even beloved. Jesus wasn’t kidding when he said “love your enemies.” He showed the world with Paul, that your enemy is your brother or sister, and we and they are capable of change.
I have been reading Gregory Boyle’s book “Cherished Belonging” to get ready for our small groups that start next week. Boyle points out that on the day when Jesus entered Jerusalem on his way to be arrested and crucified, there were two parades that day.
On the one side, coming from the west on the main road, was Pilate and his show of military power and force. It was a display of power. Don’t mess with Pilate or you see what you’ll get. Boyle writes:
“Then there’s Jesus, on a small donkey, humbling entering the city from the east. Jesus’s trek and mission displays a way of life whose hallmarks are inclusion, nonviolence, unconditional loving kindness, and compassionate acceptance. The parade of warhorses announces the threat of violence, force, coercion, and the oppression of the poor. The “triumphant” entrance of Jesus is not an indictment but an invitation. Village transcending tribe. Jesus doesn’t draw lines (of division). He erases them.
Paul’s encounter with Jesus caused him to change his life completely. To become the thing that he despised. To embrace the other side.
Jesus invites us to do the same. To change. To be humble. To let go of our self-righteousness. To embrace his way of inclusion, even of our enemies, nonviolence, unconditional loving kindness, and compassionate acceptance.
Paul’s conversion changed everything. So can ours. So can anyone else’s.
Top image: “The Conversion of St. Paul” by Caravaggio, oil on cypress wood, 1600/1601.