Tag: sight

Was Blind But Now I See

Background: Last weekend was a preaching weekend for me at Christ Church Easton. The Gospel story in the lectionary was Mark 10:46-52, the story of the blind beggar Bartimaeus and Jesus giving him his sight back. Following is the text of the sermon.

“Was Blind But Now I See”

This is a story that begins and ends in faith. Sometimes faith starts in the dark. And sometimes things go dark or at least get obscured without us losing our physical sight.

Faith is not about seeing. Faith is about trust. And trust can lead to vision.

Over the past several weeks, Mark has shown us the disciples failing to understand what Jesus is telling them, failing to understand his mission, and putting their needs and desires before his.

In contrast to that, Mark gives us Bartimaeus, a blind beggar, who shows all the characteristics of being a faithful disciple.

Profession of Faith

Bartimaeus is blind and an outsider and all Jesus has to do is come close to him for the beggar to know who Jesus is and what he can do.

He shouts out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” Doing this, Bartimaeus proclaims both Jesus’s identity and his own faith, his trust in Jesus’s power and what he can do.

Even as people try to silence him, Bartimaeus calls out again, louder, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

This stops Jesus in his tracks. We’ve seen this before in Gospel stories, where someone’s extraordinary belief or faith in Jesus causes him to stop.

Jesus calls him over and in his response to being called, Bartimaeus throws off his cloak—everything he owns—and he leaps up to come to Jesus. Does that remind us of the rich, young ruler, who Jesus tells to give away everything he owns and follow me? Bartimaeus has already done what the rich man couldn’t, and he wasn’t even asked.

The Big Question

As Bartimaeus comes before him, Jesus asks the key question: “What is it you want me to do for you?”

I wonder if there are two questions that Jesus asks in Mark’s Gospel that are the primary questions of our faith:

  • Who do you say that I am?
  • What do you want me to do for you?

Jesus asked the disciples, “Who do you say that I am?” And Peter answered, “You are the Messiah.” And they’ve been working on what that means for the disciples and for Jesus ever since Peter’s answer.

Last week, Jesus asked his followers James and John, “What do you want me to do for you?” The same question he just asked the blind man. And their response was, “We want to sit at your right hand and at your left hand in glory.” They wanted glory, prestige, power. Jesus wasn’t going in that direction, and he told them they didn’t know what they were asking for. Their desires and Jesus’s mission were not aligned.

Now he asks Bartimaeus, a man who has been a beggar, who has been blind, who has figured out how to live his life on the charity of others, what do you want me to do for you?

Bartimaeus being blind, that may seem like a simple answer. But getting his sight will require him to try to live a completely different life, to leave everything he has known and learned, and to go in a new direction.

I wonder, if we are living lives we aren’t happy with… lives that feel empty, or broken, or even just less than we would like them to be; but lives that have become comfortable…. Would we ask for something miraculous that would give us new life, but also ask something of us in return, something that would require us to leave our current lives behind?

If Jesus asked you, what is it you want me to do for you, and you had every feeling that he would give you what you asked for, what would it be?

How We Answer

“The blind man said, ‘Teacher, I would like to see again.’”

He has cast off all he had, he has stepped out of his old life and is taking a risk. He is asking for sight, to go along with the faith he has already shown.

“Jesus said to him, ‘Go; your faith has made you well.’ (And) Immediately he regained his sight and followed him on the way.”

Bartimaeus expressed the faith that the crowds lacked. He gave up everything in a way that the rich young ruler wasn’t able to do. And he answered the question Jesus also asked the disciples, with humility and gratitude. This is what discipleship looks like.

Blind = lost

Last weekend we were in Shepherdstown, West Virginia, and I got up early to walk trails through meadows and along the woods to look for and listen to birds. It was a beautiful and quiet morning, and overnight, fog had settled in.

I went to bed with my full eyesight and woke up and my eyes still worked (at least after coffee) and yet, as I was walking around, fog had taken over and I couldn’t see as well as I could the night before.

We live in an area that has fog delays for schools, so I know you can all relate to trying to see through a foggy haze.

I wonder if you’ll take a step with me when I say that fog is also a helpful metaphor in our own lives for when our vision gets obscured, obstructed, and we can no longer see clearly.

I wonder if we can go blind without losing our physical eyesight.

It would be nice to dismiss the story of Bartimaeus by saying, hey, I’m not blind, this story doesn’t apply to me. But I think we are all blinded from time to time, often without realizing it.

Thinking about this reading during the week, I’ve had the lines from the song “Amazing Grace” in my mind:

“I once was lost, but now am found,
was blind, but now I see.”

I wonder if being lost is like being blind. Have you ever felt lost in your life in a way that you couldn’t see to find your way out?

From 2010 to 2014, I commuted across the Bay Bridge to Washington, DC, writing for the Coast Guard. It was a cool job and I met some great people. I never thought I would be able to stomach commuting like that every day and driving into the city.

The jobs I had before that were non-profit jobs here on the Shore. They kept me in touch with the community, they connected me to parts of my family history and opened new doors and new ways of seeing and being in the place where I grew up. And I felt like I was doing something for, and contributing to our shared community.

But it’s hard to make ends meet working for non-profits. My DC job more than doubled the salary I was making on the Shore. I remember driving one day—I don’t remember whether it was on the way to work or on the way home—and thinking, I’m stuck now. I am going to have to keep commuting, keep working in DC for the rest of my career, now that I’ve started this and found the proverbial pot of gold.

There was a slight pause in 2013, when the contract we were working on didn’t get renewed and I had to figure out what was next. I started interviewing for jobs on the Shore and out of nowhere, I had this uncanny and sure sense that I was supposed to go to seminary. Which made no sense, we weren’t even going to church. But that feeling was there.

During that time, I got a job offer on another contract for the Coast Guard, which solved all the financial concerns. It didn’t shake the sense that I was supposed to be doing something else; that I had become completely alienated from the community around me, that I had less time with my daughters for having to commute. But I convinced myself that this was the right decision for my family.

The fog was thick. I took the DC job. During that next year, my entire life fell apart. Family, job, sense of self and self-worth. I had become lost, even though I saw every step I was taking.


Last weekend, when I was walking in the fog, a cool thing happened. I was walking up the hill towards the B&B where we were staying and the fog was laid in, but the sun was also coming up. And as we know happens, the sun started to burn off the fog. If you can take the time to stand in one place, facing toward the sun, and watch as it overcomes the fog, and the fog begins to fade, clarity sets back in. It’s nothing short of miraculous to watch.

I don’t have 20/20 vision as my glasses attest to. But over the course of the last 10 years, I have gone from feeling lost, to being found. From being blinded, to regaining my sight.

And the question that helped me get there—though at first, I didn’t recognize that it was Jesus asking it—was, “What do you want me to do for you?” What do you want your life to become?

Following and Freedom

On my West Virginia morning, and really anywhere there is fog, it takes the sun to burn it off. There was nothing I could do on my own to see through it, it was the sun that had to do the work. In my life, in Bartimaeus’s life, and for many others, it took the S-o-n, Jesus, to give us back our sight, our vision.

Bartimaeus needed his sight to live the life he wanted to live. But he showed it wasn’t just about him. When he regained his sight, what did he do with it? He followed Jesus. In doing so, with his new life, I think it is fair to say that the seeing Bartimaeus was more truly who he was supposed to be than the blind version of himself ever was.

He used his sight in the service of God. Not because he was told to—all Jesus said was “Go.” Bartimaeus followed Jesus in act of gratitude and of realizing what his sight was for.

Author, pastor, and theologian Frederick Buechner put it wonderfully when he said, “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”

It’s been my experience that when we put our trust in Jesus and start to follow, when we let the sun burn off the fog, that meeting place of our deep gladness and the world’s hunger becomes more and more clear.

Are you seeing clearly or do you feel lost? If you feel lost, when Jesus draws near to you, do you trust him enough to call his name? If he asks you what you want him to do for you, do you know what your answer will be? Will it be to ask for the sight to live your life to the fullest, to live the life that God has envisioned for you? To align your sight and your life in following the one who gives us both life and sight?

“I once was lost, but now am found.
Was blind but now I see.”

What Did I Really See Today?

“Many of us have made our world so familiar that we do not see it anymore. An interesting question to ask yourself at night is, ‘What did I really see this day?'”

John O’Donohue, “Anam Cara”

This is an observation John O’Donohue makes and a question he asks in the second section of his book, “Anam Cara.” The section is called “Toward a Spirituality of the Senses,” and it delves into how our senses are our gateways into the world around us.

This may seem like a no-brainer, but there has been a long, human-induced rift between the spirit and the senses. We often hear that we shouldn’t trust things of or from the body, and our senses arise from these bodies we inhabit.

O’Donohue, in his heaving together of the Celtic and Christian (and in what we would do well to bring back as a more mainstream way of seeing in Christianity), points out that our bodies and our senses are gifts from God.

“Your body is your clay home; your body is the only home you have in this universe. It is in and through your body that your soul becomes visible and real for you. Your body is the home of your soul on earth.”

He goes on to say that, “the body is a sacrament. The old traditional definition of sacrament captures this beautifully. A sacrament is a visible sign of invisible grace.”

In this lifetime, our bodies are how we experience the world, how we encounter each other, and even how we come to know God. They are a central part of our earthly experience. We are meant to use, honor, and be grateful for our bodies and our senses in and of themselves and as a means for coming to know and draw closer to God.

And the senses:

“The senses are our bridges to the world. Human skin is porous; the world flows through you. Your senses are large pores that let the world in.”

And O’Donohue pushes us a bit further: “A renewal, a complete transfiguration of your life, can come through attention to your senses. Your senses are the guides to take you deep into the inner world of your heart.”

Let’s think about this. We’re on the Eastern Shore–think about pulling a summer tomato off the vine, washing it, cutting it up and eating it–whether in a salad, as part of a dish, or sliced with salt, pepper, and mayonnaise on a plate.

Think about the smell of honeysuckle, or freshly cut grass, or fragrant flowers in a garden. Remember what it feels like to breathe in deeply and smile. Or even the wetness of tears running down your cheek, for any number of different reasons. Or the colors in the sky at sunrise or sunset. Or the sound of the voice of someone you love. The sound of contagious laughter.

If we pay attention to our senses, we can have a deeper, richer experience of life.

Remembering that “Anam Cara” translates as “soul friend,” we are going to keep coming back to the phenomenon of friendship and relationship. And O’Donohue, in his lyrical exploration of friendship, loves mic drop phrases and sentences, the kind that stop you reading right where you are and make you think.

So when he starts us off in the section by talking about the face, he goes big:

“In the human face, the anonymity of the universe becomes intimate…

The human face is the subtle, yet visual autobiography of each person…

The face reveals the soul, it is where the divinity of the inner life finds an echo and an image. When you behold someone’s face, you are gazing deeply into that person’s life.”

Imagine if we kept this in mind when we meet someone for the first time. Or when we see a close friend, or anyone. What if we gave ourselves a chance to be present with someone when we come face to face?

A couple of photographs that show faces and maybe a glimpse as to what might be behind them.

O’Donohue deepens what these encounters mean when he explores what is behind our faces: “at a deeper level, each person is the custodian of a completely private, individual world.” And we are.

So let’s think about what that means when a friend comes to your house:

“When people come to visit your home, they come bodily. They bring all of their inner worlds, experiences, and memories into your house through the vehicle of their bodies. While they are visiting you, their lives are not elsewhere; they are totally there with you…”

This is not my default way of thinking. But maybe it should be more often. If we are mindful that everyone has these infinite inner worlds inside them, which we carry around with us, maybe when we encounter someone, what can so easily seem like a throw-away moment–‘hey, what’s up, how’s it going?’–can lead us to deeper connection. Maybe we wouldn’t be on our phones, thinking about the laundry, or what we have going on tomorrow. Maybe we could be completely in the moment, realizing the sacredness of time with a friend.

What did I really see today? Did I pay attention to the intimate details around me in the landscape? When I talked to, or had dinner with my daughters, was I fully present, was I actually there? When I saw a friend, did I really see them?

O’Donohue points out that the “eyes” or what he calls the style of vision we bring to the table (life) determine what and how we see things. This is something any of us could do well to remember:

“To the fearful eye, all is threatening…

To the greedy eye, everything can be possessed…

To the judgmental eye, everything is closed in definitive frames…

To the resentful eye, everything is begrudged…

To the indifferent eye, nothing calls or awakens…

To the interior eye, everyone else is greater…

To the loving eye, everything is real… If we could look at the world in a loving way, then the world would rise up before us full of invitation, possibility, and depth. The loving eye can even coax pain, hurt, and violence toward transfiguration and renewal.”

I need to be careful of so many of those. I hope that I can remember, be mindful of, and look through the loving eye.

Our “Anam Cara” classes meet on Monday evening, one group on Zoom earlier, and then a larger group in person in the Parish Hall of Christ Church Easton. Discussion goes from the cosmic to the everyday, from the existential to the personal (when is the existential not personal, really?). And one of the questions we return to is, “what do I do with this?” In other words, how do we fold it into our lives? Into our everyday encounters?

Last evening, Rev. Susie Leight synthesized so much of this with another pull from O’Donohue. Words, quote, and photo from Susie:

Questions to consider at the end of the day, try answering from a place of honesty, not judgment. Offer your answers up to God and see where the Holy Spirit leads…

“What dreams did I create last night? Where did my eyes linger today? Where was I blind? Where was I hurt without anyone noticing? What did I learn today? What did I read? What new thoughts visited me? What differences did I notice in those closest to me? Whom did I neglect? Where did I neglect myself? What did I begin today that might endure? How were my conversations? What did I do today for the poor and the excluded? Did I remember the dead today? Where could I have exposed myself to the risk of something different? Where did I allow myself to receive love? With whom today did I feel most myself? What reached me today? How deep did it imprint? Who saw me today? What visitations had I from the past and from the future? What did I avoid today? From the evidence why was I given this day?”

— “At The End Of The Day: A Mirror Of Questions,” by John O’Donohue